I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
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