My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
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