I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
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