I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
Randomize
