I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
Randomize
