Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
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