he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
How did I get home last night?
We put your keys on a lanyard that asked anyone that found you to bring you home. A nice man in a cape, green shorts and a mesh shirt dropped you off this morning.
Oh. Yeah. Riiiggghhht
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