I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Randomize
