I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
Randomize
