I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
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