i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize
