she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
As shirtless as possible
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
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