You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
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