I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
Randomize
