i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
apparently, "please pick me up from the airport" also means "i got drunk on the flight and need to give you roadhead in broad daylight"
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
Randomize
