cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
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