I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
Randomize
