it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
Randomize
