C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Randomize