I've been at work for less than an hour and have pooped twice already. That's what happens when you start sleeping with your roommate and don't want to use the bathroom at home anymore.
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
Randomize
