is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize
