your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
Randomize
