id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
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