this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
Dude my date hates me, Im on a rooftop full of Turkish people, and Ricky Martin is blasting on the radio. I was wrong earlier when I said I have my shit together
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
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