This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Randomize
