The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
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