Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
That awkward moment when you realize that last night you walked from in n out to petco, bought a mouse for $3, named it mogar, taught it how to skateboard on a techdeck, made it a home out of a trash can, fed it fruity pebbles and cheese, and then forgot where you left it.
I forget how to act sober
Randomize