oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
Randomize
