called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
