normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
You are a genius and a whore.
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Randomize
