You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
Randomize
