what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
Randomize