hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
Randomize
