is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
Randomize
