im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
Randomize