I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
That awkward moment when you were so fucking drunk lastnight that you and your fuck buddy wake up wearing eachother's clothing covered in hot cheetos with his cat curled up between your heads meowing. Thought you'd appreciate this moment with me.
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
