South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
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