Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
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