I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
Randomize
