grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
Pissed on my Blackberry at the Astros game. Wish me luck explaining that one at work.
Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
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