go do what you do best...puke behind churches
So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
Randomize
