You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
between my moustache and how drunk I am it will be a miracle if I get laid tonight.
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
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