Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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