Apparently on the way out of the ER i asked the nurse to doggie-bag me some more morphine.
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
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