I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
Randomize
