we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
Randomize
