She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
