How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.
sisterhood ftl.
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
Randomize
