I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
Randomize
