i wonder why nobody wants to date me...im doing a crossword at work and asked out loud: whats a 4 letter word for 'a reason to get married?'
i was like PREG?
come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
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