I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
Randomize
