i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
