I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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